Weekend Update

We went to the Memorial park they have built here to see what it was all about. They have a Memorial for WWI, WWII, Korean War, Vietnam war, and the Iraq/Afganistan war. My grandma's name is on the WWII memorial. We recognized many people on the Iraq/Afganistan war memorial. It was very sombering to think of the soldiers that gave all for us to live in such a wonderful country. It is crazy to think that this country has only been a country for less than 300 years. We then headed home to get ready for our BBQ that we had invited grandma, Mike, Uncle Royal, and Desiree too. Even though it rained, the food was yummy and the company nice. The boys played with the neighbors for a while, then came in and got ready for bed. Over all a good holiday. Now the week continues...just the normal stuff, but the kids are out of school now. Which means more food consumption at home and more mom, mom, mom, mom...hopefully the days will be good and nice memories will be made!

Memorial Day

I have been contemplating Memorial Day. We took a wreath out to my grandma's grave today. All the kids rushed over to her headstone, cleaned it off, and just sat there gather around it. As I walked over I though to myself, how sad I feel that my grandma is missing out on their growing up. But then I also thought she was looking down and smiling at how wonderful they are becoming. Between Dave and I we do not have any grandparents left. They have all passed on since we have been married, starting with his grandpa in 1999, then my grandma and grandpa in 2000, and his grandma in 2003. I only had one set of grandparents. However I did have a Great Uncle that was like a grandpa to me, but he died when I was 5 after a long battle with Cancer. Dave's other set died before we had ever met. I see so much of my grandma in Meghan. Sometimes it catches me off guard, when I realize how much she looks like her. Especially her reflection in the mirror. My grandma served in the Navy during WWII, they have recently put a monument for Iron Co. WWII Veterans up and I am excited to go see her name. They had her on a list for it last summer. I am so thankful for my ancestors that came before me that paved the way for me to live in this wonderful country. I feel so blessed. It is a wonderful time to be alive. As we look to what the future holds, the sky is the limit. With 5 children there is always something to keeo us on our toes. As Zach starts Middle school, I pray everyday he will be successful and make some good friends to take with him to High school. Cameron is definitely head strong and I hope he puts it to good use. Thomas is easy going, most of the time. He is such a good big brother to his little sisters. He is going to 1st grade, reading, YES! Cameron would have if his teacher had emphasized it. Meghan is turning 4 in about a month. She is such a sweet spirit. We continue a quest to get her to where she needs to be for her age, it may never happen. But I know the lord provides a way for all things, if I just have faith. Emma continues to be a crazy girl. I am not sure if it what girls are suppose to be and we missed it with Meghan or if she is the way she is, because she is Emma! I can only hope my grandma is proud of me and that my grandpa knows that I love him. My heart is so full today.

Pro-Life or Pro-Choice

I have been thinking about having babies. Probably because we are done and it is Spring/Summer and lots of people are pregnant. Gallup poll released data that says the majority of Americans are Pro-Life now. So the debate rages, do we let women have the choice to keep a baby or not. The argument is then made that we need to educate girls to let them know that they do have options. To carry them to term and adopt them out. Which I totally support given the wonderful mom I know who wants to have more adopted babies. However it has been made very expensive and hard to do over the course of many years. But then I wonder, if there were more women choosing adoption over abortion or keeping them to live in bad circumstances, would it be so expensive to adopt? My guess is no, so maybe education is the answer. But not the kind they give at Planned Parenthood, apparently. Where by one story, they rush you in to get the abortion as fast as possible with little or no education about what was going to happen during or after. Kind of reminds me of 40 years ago, when women had them done in crazy places. I am thankful that we live in a country that allows us choices. However in thinking, have we really come as far as some would have us believe? This is not the only issue where I have often wondered this about. I am also grateful for a country that allows me to post my thoughts. I am thankful for being able to send my kids to school and know they are safe. I am also thankful for being able to practice the religion of my choice. I am also grateful for the 5 wonderful spirits that bless our home. I would not have it any other way!

A Little Something to Ponder...

This was shared with me at work. I thought it was very fitting for most, if not all of us.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small doesn't serve this world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so
that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make and manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us, it's in everyone!

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other
people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others!

Authored and published byMarianne Williamson

Moving Forward

Here is what I wonder, there is a girl who does not have custody of her children, but thinks she is a better parent than I am. It has me thinking, the knee jerk reaction is to delete her from FB and never talk to her again. The is an ongoing thing with her. She truly believes she is better than me and doing so much better than we are. Also deleting her mom, because over the course of the last couple of days my suspicions have been realized. I have too much to do to worry about these people. So the next course of action would be to let the husband deal with them from here on out. But then as last night unfolded, I realized that would not do. The realization also occurred that there is a line to not cross with ones family, even if they do not like them. As I contemplate deletion from my FB page, I wonder what will happen. I would be happy to just forget these people existed, but I think the husband has not reached this point. I know what I need to do for my kids, but is worth it? As they get older, they realize what goes on it life. However the little ones do not know. So I am left with the same dilemma I have had the last 12 years. My mom and her generous spirit are the reason for wondering where life should go. Thinking about moving is such a big decision, but we need to do something to change our lives for the better. The husband did apply for a new job with the charter school here in town, as an Academic Advisor. It would offer the benefits that we lack and an opportunity to get a Master's Degree in Education Administration. I need to work towards graduation in my own Bachelor's degree. Hopefully in the spring. My kids are my world. I work, so they can have things just a little better than they would be otherwise. I support them in scouts, school, and all they hope to achieve. The girls are still small, but need so much. Especially Meghan. I went to her IEP review yesterday. They are changing her from Speech delay to Developmental delay. A step forward in getting her all the help she needs. Maybe I yell too much sometimes, but I am working on it. I realize I am not perfect, but I am still married and have custody of my children. Oh and I have not had kids with multilple fathers. Whatever the issue is, one can never know what the two hens have been saying about me. I have to move on. I am just not sure how too.

Mother's Day

The mom that I admire most is my mom. She raised my sister and I alone. She taught me that we are the ones who have the power to change or make the most of the situation we are in. She taught me to work hard. She taught me to be the best person I can be. I am thankful I chose her to be my mom. I would not have it any other way. I hope that when I am older my kids will say the same thing about me. My grandma, who lived with us and took care of me for a long time, while my mom was working hard. She always said it like it was. She did not hold back. She did geneology like no one else, I have ever known. It was what she lived for as she got older. Then as she got closer to the end, she realized that things were not has bad as she had thought. Coming to terms with the things she feared the most, brought to the end. I am so thankful that she was my grandma. She taught me that church is important. Even if she struggles with it now. I have had other "mother's" in my life. Virginia comes to mind. While I do not see her very often anymore, when I do she is always interested in what I have been doing and has a warm hug for me. Linda has always been one for me as well. Even now, she helps me with my kids when she can. She makes them feel special. I have friends who are moms that inspire me. Brook for being faithful and steadfast in her journey to have a family. Of the women I know who have struggled, she is the most willing to help herself and make happen her goals. Alexes for being a good mom to 3 beautiful girls and supporting her husband these last 10 months. He has finally found a good job for their family! I am so excited for her. It requires a big move, but it will be good for them. For her unwavering faith. She wants to be a writer, I hope it happens for her. Sheena is awesome! She has been through more, just to be with someone, than I think I could have taken. She has made it work. Things for her are looking up! To Violet that supports her kids, no matter what decisions they make. She refuses to believe they are lost sheep. She has an unwavering support for them. She is so willing to help them. So many parents would have given up on their kids by now, but she has not. She does all that she can do for them, all the time. Then there is Mair, who took a big leap of faith and moved to be with someone. I admire her so much. When the time is right, she is going to be a wonderful mom. She already has been to two beautiful stepkids. I look forward to the day when she sealed in the temple. I will be there. It will be give me a reason to see OR. I have always wanted to go there. To all the other mom's out there who make their family their priority. I feel so blessed by the examples I have in my life that inspire me to the best person I can be. I am grateful to the wonderful people who allow me to be a part of their lives. It is a true honor. So to all the mom's out there, be the best you can be.

The Oldest is Turning 11...

Zachery came to this world just a little before midnight on May 6, 1998. He weighed 8lbs 15oz and was 21 inches long. It seems like just yesterday he was toddling around the house. Although now we are reminded daily that he is growing up with his stories of MP. The traditional Maturation program is on Friday. His dad will be attending with him. The deal is that he goes with the boys and I will go with the girls! Good for me, because I do not have to go to one for 6 years. In the meantime, he will have two more to go to after this. I am not sure what they teach at this program, because they have changed since I was in the 5th grade. He starts 6th grade in the fall, which is mindboggling. It seems like just the other day I was at Middle school. However I would not give up having had my children younger for anything. I see people starting their families later and all I can think is, I am tired now. I can not imagine what it is like for them. I am thankful for my oldest son. Watching him grow and become a wonderful spirit from Heavenly Father. He is passionate about every sport he plays. Right now it is baseball. In the fall, I have agreed to let him play Football. I told him he had to wait for 6th grade to play. He is going to play the tuba in the band this fall and will have some time in the Summer band. I just want him to make it through Middle school having made the right choices and have some good friends to continue on to high school with. Middle school is a hard time, even for the best of kids. I have faith it will turn out. As we make some choices to get us set for the future, we remember how important our children are.